I sit here starting this blog listening to mellow music and my overweight cat's snores at 2:30 in the morning. The perfect time and place, no doubt. I have countless notebooks, journals, yet I am making the choice to entrust my thoughts to the internet. Why? I guess it's easier, faster certainly, and it is far easier to erase embarrassing or unwanted lines or entries on the computer than it is to erase them from paper.
I learned more about a person today than I ever realized there was to know. She writes. Did you know that? She struggles with the same emotions, the same doubts. There is a one-sided kinship there now, and the anger and hurt toward her I didn't consciously acknowledge has mostly disappeared. It's interesting how learning can do that. Where I have, for the past few weeks, been unwilling to make eye contact with her, avoided being physically close to her, I now find myself wanting to give her a hug. Maybe it's understanding. Maybe it's because it's 2:30 in the morning. Perhaps it's both.
All I know for certain is that I'm sitting in a room that smells like roses and I am warm.
Friday, January 8, 2010
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